On a Monday I hardly ever know what my next blog post will be about, but as the week progresses I notice that certain thoughts keep on repeating. What’s the theme for this week then? Well, I’ve been thinking if I’m a snail? Snails like to live a slower paced life, and they sometimes hide from the crowds. We live in a world of falcons and antelopes — this world loves speed, excitement and growth; sometimes to an extent that experiences and encounters remain shallow. Also happiness is to be achieved quickly, and the way to do that is to lower your expectations. But snails are not in a rush, and thus not ready to do that just yet.
Last weekend I took part in one training event in the country side. The purpose of the event was to teach a comprehensive set of skills for better performance. The topics ranged from nutrition, exercise and relaxation to goal-setting and career advice. As I’m the kind of person who is constantly upgrading themselves, it sounded like my kind of stuff. In fact, I have built different versions of myself throughout the years. The current version, Tiia 3.1 is probably the most purposeful version so far. The updates are generally made on New Year’s Eve, but I already know that the future versions have some pretty neat features coming! Can’t wait.
Anyway, back to the training event. What happened was that my personal theme of the weekend was to be to 30 minutes late from each part of the program. I’m not sure why though, perhaps because I paused noticed the people around me. I talked and didn’t stick to the minute schedule. Like a Latin snail. It was rather ironic to try and rush through health topics as many of our problems in fact appear due to lack of time. Later on in the evening there was more time for socialising; however, for another unexplained reason I found myself stuck in a space between having a real conversation and talking shit. You know, that space where you are having a conversation just for the sake of having it. There is no real connection or presence, and eventually the conversation just sucks the life out of you.
So I wasn’t always a snail. I used to be more of an antelope with a head of a chicken. I loved the speed but often ran around headless without direction. Tiia 2.5 got her high from running, fast-paced and hectic work, travelling, cultures and exotic experiences. High-intensity exercise in particular was my number one relaxation technique. Sometimes when the speed is too high, something happens in our lives that forces us to stop. Other times we just get unlucky. Last time I went for a run, I woke up the next morning unable to pick up a fork or form clear sentences. This was followed by one month of aching joints, feverish feeling and a promise to never run again. Some months later I promised myself that when I’m better, I’ll train myself super fit! Now three years later I’m still waiting for that day.
That’s when I started discovering the snail side of me. And when I think about those antelope (with a head of a chicken) years, I have to admit that my body gave me tips and warning signs years before. I was just too busy to listen. Another explanation is that I got some mystical amoeba from one of my tropical adventures. I will never know and that’s not even important anymore. I’ve given up on finding a magic pill that would fix everything. Instead, I’ve learned to appreciate and enjoy the slowness.
At one part of this “slowing down fast – weekend” I went outside alone in my fancy red dress. It was -10°C, full moon and I was in the middle of the fields. So quiet. This was the first moment of the day when I actually paused, relaxed and realised something — snails are freaking awesome.